It’s Awkward Grooming Questions—your destination for answers on the burning (and sometimes itching) queries that were between you and your Google search history, until now.
No matter how I shave, I always fall victim to nasty razor bumps—made worse by the fact that I have to shave daily for my job. What am I doing wrong? How can I prevent them in the future, but also, how can I make them look less aggressive right now? I am saddened to hear of your plight—you seem like a wonderful person. Unfortunately, the world we live in is governed by strange and ruthless forces, which is why occasionally, razor burn happens. The bad news is that misfortune befalls even the most prudent among us, and that is our mortal condition. The good news is that razor burn is curable, and it’s not so hard to do. Razor burn is the result of irritated hair follicles, which produce the rolling hills of inflamed skin you are observing on your neck and elsewhere. It’s like acne, if acne was accompanied by a light searing sensation. But beyond the pain, razor burn is embarrassing, if only because it broadcasts to colleagues and love interests and bank tellers who are also love interests that you don’t know how to shave properly. This is frustrating at best and wildly shame-inducing at worst. Your best defense is a close shave—the closest shave you can possibly obtain without slicing open your jugular. Here's what to do: 1. Heat the hairy zone. I realize that until this point I’ve assumed we’ve been talking about razor burn on your face, but we could be talking about any part of you (which casts intrigue over the job you need to shave for, not that I'm judging). In any case, start by massaging your unwanted hair with a towel soaked in warm water. It makes the hair a little softer and easier to shear. 2. Massage in your shaving cream. Some grooming experts insist you use a designated shaving brush, but I find that needlessly opulent. Just make an effort to lather your preferred substance over the area to get the blood flowing. |
3. Use a sharp razor. Maybe this is a given, but it's worth emphasizing: a sharp razor allows you to be gentle. You should never press a razor into your skin, unless you’re a murderous 19th-century barber (and even then it seems like a gray area). Pretend your face (or otherwise!) is a sheet of silk, and treat it accordingly.
4. Go with the grain. (I’m told this is common knowledge, but my dad told me the opposite growing up, so.) 5. Exfoliate. This is an essential step, particularly for men of color—there’s a good chance your facial hair is coarse and curly and prone to grow back in, leading to ingrown hairs and more razor burn. Switch to a sharp, single-blade razor (multiple blades can pull and tug) and follow the above steps diligently. And you might want to throw in an exfoliant afterwards, to clear away any dead skin that might obstruct the growth of new hairs. It truly pains me to recommend a $50 face scrub, but I must, because it’s the best: Tom Ford’s Exfoliating Energy Scrub smells like a Tom Ford facial scrub and is specifically designed in tandem with his shaving outfit for extra care. 6. Follow with tea tree oil. Please, please, don’t use aftershave! The added fragrance will smell lovely, but it will aggravate your pores. Instead, use a basic antiseptic like tea tree oil to purify and tone your fresh skin. You can get this at Whole Foods, and it still smells fine. If none of this works—if your neck continues to resemble a relief map of Pittsburgh—talk to your dermatologist. There’s a decent chance they’ll prescribe you a retinoid to blast away what remains of your razor burn. I hope to our shared merciless God you regularly see a dermatologist, but if you don’t, do, and you can buy Differin Gel (the only retinoid available over the counter in the States) at Target. If you don’t know what a retinoid is, please read up. There's one more option. And Plan B, by contrast, is almost totally inactive. The superlative remedy for razor bumps is to not get them in the first place—which is easier than it sounds. Treat yourself to a weeklong vacation in a sprawling metropolis within driving distance of where you live, post up in the airport Marriott, and commit to growing a beard. Allow a thrush of soft hair to take over your existing razor burn, shading it from onlookers like a rainforest canopy, and enjoy your brand new face. Beards are nature’s face-obscuring shields: If you can’t beat it, hide it. |